Giving in to the flesh.

Yes, I'm giving in to the flesh and blogging about my nasty day. No, it really doesn't seem that bad, now that I'm blogging about it, but I'm letting all you readers see into my dysfunctional thought processees (sp).

Things have been unravelling basically since I stepped out of bed today. I'm going to share about two of the most disturbing parts.

I should know better than to have a plan or agenda, because of course I'm only setting myself up for disappointment.

Went to fuel up the mini-van at an alternate location today, since it was on the route to the other places we needed to stop at this morning after dropping Olivia off at pre-school. "No biggie", I thought. "Still an Ames location, and hey, look, there's no wait...this'll be quick." Sticking to the "Dave Ramsey cash plan", I plan on gassing up and then running in to pay after I'm done. This has only been a problem one other time, while trying to pay cash for fuel in Chicago...'cause apparently people aren't too trustworthy and drive off without paying:( Bummer...so we don't live anywhere like that, ...somewhere so big you don't really know the people in your community, ....so naturally you couldn't trust such people to be honest. Oh wait, WE DO! Yep, Ames, Iowa is such a metropolis that patrons are no longer trusted to fuel up, then walk in and pay...at one particular station on the corner of Grand Ave and 24th St. It was a surprise to me and made my stop very cumbersome, awkward, chilly, and irritating. So...I had to guess about how much gas I'd need, as not to waste money on gas I couldn't fit in my empty tank, run inside after standing at the pump staring at the scrolling "authorizing payment" screen for 3 minutes, thinking it would switch to "lift nozzle and begin fueling" screen any moment, pay for the fuel, go back out to the pump, fuel up and finally get back in my vehicle and drive off totally frustrated! "And 'maam, be sure to turn off your engine before beginning to fuel up"...UGH!!

Why did this experience bother me so? Was it just the sheer inconvenience of it? Was it that I'd planned on filling up and since I didn't want to waste gas or overpay, I undershot it and didn't actually get the tank full? Am I just a total wreck and can't handle any fluctuation in my routine? Or maybe I'm just disappointed in the mistrust of people? Why in the world am I even wrestling with this?

Then, I'm off to the post-office. (after stopping at the bank and having a completely pleasant experience...other than that man that insisted on talking to my children even though neither one of them would say a word back to him, and reminding me how "full my hands are"...wow, I sound quite bitter...see what I mean, I'm disappointed that people can't be trusted, yet uncomfortable when a stranger wants to chat in the bank lobby...I must be losing my mind) Yay, at the post-office, I was excited to see that we had beaten the morning rush...no line:) So I get up to the window and set my 25lb(plus the weight of the head to toe snow suit) son on the counter, keeping my arm securely around his waist, and begin rummaging through my bag to find the packages and envelopes that I need help mailing. My "mail helper" was less than impressed with what I presented to her and proceeded to tell me that I needed to remove my child from the counter, against their policy, go re-address and re-package all the items in the "correct" way, then she'd help me. Blah, blah, blah, ...I got all the packages back to her after re-doing and standing the 10 minute line that had formed while I "re-did" everything. Give a lady a break! Seriously, I can't rest my kid's weight on your counter? Whew!

Why can some days just go so smoothly, you feel a glow all around you? (like yesterday, which I feel no compulsion to blog about...'cause it was so great) And some days, everything's just...well...AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I do feel like I may be crazy. Or just human? Or maybe hormonal and thinking WAY too much?

Anywho...

I did add thanks for peace in my heart to our prayers yesterday. I know...nothing.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding Proverbs 3:5