I'm here to tell you that God has a way of bringing me to my knees, even and especially through my children. I do recall wondering recently just what God was wanting from me these days. I've been smacked upside the head, so to speak, as He is now dealing with me in a God-sized way.
Today, during an "ugly Mommy moment", I lost my temper with Sylvia. My mean, loud voice was used, yes I have one of those, and empty, ridiculous threats were verbalized. I'd just had it with the pokeybarely3yearsoldthatwantstodoeverythingherselfbutwantshelp child. You know that child, right? Well, after loading up the other children into the van, stomping and huffing and throwing my own little tantrum, I found a misunderstood, confused, possibly even frightened, pokeybarely3yearsoldthatwantstodoeverythingherselfbutwantshelp Sylvia waiting for her mean Mommy, lip quivering and all, back in the house. As I composed myself, I knelt down and looked her in the eyes. I knew I was wrong. I motioned for her to come to me and as I embraced her, she whispered into my ear, "I foe-give you Mommy".
Ugh. Talk about conviction! There I was being forgiven by my littlest pre-schooler, and it hadn't even required an apology on my part! Don't get me wrong, I was immensely sorry for my actions, and I further prayed for the Lord's forgiveness tonight as I tucked the girls into bed.
Sylvia may infuriate me in her pokeybarely3yearsoldthatwantstodoeverythingherselfbutwantshelp ways, but she showed me Jesus' heart today as well. She forgave me as He forgives me.
Thank you Sylvia, and thank you Jesus.
Please pray for my patience in parenting and the courage to make Godly mothering choices.
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